Memorial Stone

Jim died. His will provided $40,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Sharon turned to her oldest and dearest friend. 'Well, I'm sure Jim would be pleased,' she said. 'I'm sure you're right,' replied Brenda, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. 'How much did this really cost?' 'All of it,' said Sharon . 'Forty thousand.' "No!' Brenda exclaimed. 'I mean, it was very nice, but $40,000?' Sharon answered, 'The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to church. The whiskey, wine and snacks were another $500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone.' Brenda computed quickly. '$32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?' So Sharon showed off her new Memorial Stone:

Economic Crisis

Everyone seems to be affected by the global economic crisis these days . . .

Kids Are Quick

TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA:         Here it is. TEACHER:   Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS:         Maria. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your maths multiplication on the floor? JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN:         K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER:  No, that's wrong GLENN:         Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. ____________________________________________ TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD:     H I J K L M N O. TEACHER:  What are you talking about? DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O. __________________________________ TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE:       Me! __________________________________________ TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN:           Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________ TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' MILLIE:           I is.. TEACHER:    No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE:           All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'       ________________________________ TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.                        Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS:          Because George still had the axe in his hand.     ______________________________________ TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON:        No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ______________________________ TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE :       No, sir. It's the same dog. ___________________________________ TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD:   A teacher